John Legend Gets Real About Double Standards For Moms And Dads
John Legend is all too aware of the totally different units of parenting expectations for mothers and dads.
The singer and his spouse, Chrissy Teigen, had a viral second again in 2016 once they went out to dinner 10 days after welcoming their daughter Luna. Whereas Teigen confronted criticism for happening a date night time so quickly after giving beginning, Legend mentioned he was not subjected to the identical backlash and known as for extra equal remedy.
Now, he’s persevering with to name out the double requirements mothers and dads face and is advocating for fathers to play a extra energetic position in parenting. Legend teamed up with Pampers and Koala Kare in a pledge to supply 5,000 altering tables in males’s public restrooms throughout North America over the following two years.
“I feel it’s, as George W. Bush mentioned, ‘the gentle bigotry of low expectations.’ A lot extra is anticipated of ladies, and so little is anticipated of males. Each time a person does even the smallest factor, everybody’s like, ‘Oh, that’s so superb, he’s such an ideal dad,’” he advised HuffPost.
“A lot extra is anticipated of ladies, and so little is anticipated of males. Each time a person does even the smallest factor, everybody’s like, ‘Oh, that’s so superb, he’s such an ideal dad.’”
– John Legend
“In the meantime, ladies are doing heaps extra, and it’s assumed that’s what they’re alleged to do,” he added. “They’re not celebrated for it. I feel a part of altering behaviors and the methods we work together with one another is altering the way in which we speak about this stuff, and I feel a technique we will do that isn’t to decrease the bar a lot for males.”
Selling dads’ position in diaper responsibility is a technique Legend is attempting to boost the bar for males. Final yr round Father’s Day, he starred in a Pampers advert singing his “Smelly Booty” music, which he wrote whereas altering Luna’s diapers.
“It’s grow to be a rising marketing campaign the place we spotlight the truth that dads might be a part of diaper responsibility. Clearly many dads already knew this, however I feel it was one thing that was good to focus on in an enormous nationwide marketing campaign,” he defined. “After that, we grew the motion. We did a business with a number of different dads and one with Adam Levine. It was actually nice to say that dads might be a part of this responsibility.”
This newest initiative is about ensuring dads have the services they should play an energetic position in parenting ― particularly altering stations in public restrooms that enable them to be concerned in diaper responsibility always.
“However backside line is, let’s make [diaper duty] extra handy for dads, and let’s say that it’s not only a girl’s job to do that.”
– John Legend
“It’s a factor you by no means take into consideration till it’s a factor that you just want. You by no means perceive it till you’re really within the state of affairs. And naturally, you simply improvise and make it occur,” Legend mentioned of the dearth of adjusting tables in males’s restrooms. “However backside line is, let’s make it extra handy for dads, and let’s say that it’s not only a girl’s job to do that. Males can share on this position as nicely, and let’s make sure that there are services on the market that make it attainable.”
He added that there are lots of sorts of households, together with these with single dads or two dads. “My dad was a single dad for the second half of my childhood, and he had 4 youngsters,” he famous. “We had been previous diaper-changing age, however you must acknowledge that there are every kind of parenting relationships and parenting roles on the market. We must always have bogs that acknowledge that.”
To Legend, Teigen’s mom-shaming expertise epitomizes the lack of information across the energetic roles dads can and may play in caring for his or her infants.
“It simply reveals you. We each had been going out, and it was a pair weeks after Luna was born. We had baby care. She wasn’t residence by herself. Chrissy received criticized, and I used to be proper subsequent to her and didn’t get criticized,” he mentioned. “It simply lets you understand, these are the totally different expectation ranges lots of people have for women and men, and I feel we have to have conversations to evolve previous that.”
Along with 3-year-old Luna, Legend and Teigen are additionally dad and mom to 1-year-old Miles. Getting concerned in actions just like the diaper responsibility initiative is a technique they function position fashions for his or her youngsters and work to create a extra equitable world for them.
“Lots of what we do, we take into consideration our children and the longer term we would like for them,” the dad mentioned. “Lots of it’s also about character and interpersonal habits towards one another at residence, and we wish to mannequin that in the way in which we speak to one another and in the way in which we speak to them. We wish them to be sensible, we would like them to be sort, we would like them to be good leaders, and we would like them to be empathetic. And hopefully we’re in a position to mannequin that at residence with them.”